I’m growing weary of rejection. I’ve been on unemployment since July, and have applied for quite a few jobs in that time. This afternoon I applied for a job that I thought would be a great fit for me and got an immediate response telling me that I did not meet the minimum requirements for the position. Fair enough — they wanted someone who has directed a day care center, and I have not done that. I do, however, have a Master’s in Teaching, and several years experience teaching elementary and middle school. I have also substituted in a daycare and spent the past year as the full-time care provider for my own child.
I think I’m also feeling bad about myself because I had to go the WorkSource center this week for an info session on unemployment. I was required to attend this session in order to continue receiving unemployment and I had hoped that it might be useful and that they might chat with me about my resume and job opportunities in my field. But it was just a Powerpoint presentation about how to properly claim my weekly unemployment benefits, something I already have been doing for awhile now. Also this week I started using LinkedIn, which makes me feel bad about myself because everyone I know on LinkedIn has a professional job.
Why is it that so much of my self-worth seems to rely on having a successful career? Why isn’t it enough to just be a good mom? I think our society seems to expect women to be everything — to be great mothers, wives, friends, and also have successful careers. These expectations set everyone up for disappointment.
I try to remind myself that my self-worth comes from God. One of my favorite Bible verses is Isaiah 43:1: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have summoned you by name, you are mine.” God is telling me that I belong to Him. It is for God, not the world, that I should live my life. It is God who determines my steps. I do not have a job right now, because God wants me to be at home with my beautiful daughter right now, who hasn’t even reached her first birthday yet. God will give me the right job at the right time. It is up to me to trust.
Why do we call it Good Friday? The crucifixion was a horrific event. It’s where we get our word “excruciating” — “from the cross.” But it was a good thing, an amazing thing, that God was willing to be sacrificed for us, that we might be redeemed.
Sometimes things that seem painful at first turn into blessings in the end.