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Monthly Archives: September 2020

In spite of all the challenges of parenting during a pandemic while schools are closed, I was feeling hopeful about the future during my last post. However, the past week has been extraordinarily difficult. As wildfires rage throughout Oregon, including one only about 25 miles east of Eugene, my community has been experiencing some of the most dangerous air quality in the world. At the beginning of the pandemic, my 90-year-old grandmother, who has dementia and short-term memory loss, told me over Facetime that “the air outside is poisoned,” and now her words are accurate.

Where I live, in Eugene, our air quality has been literally off the charts at above a 300 rating for the past week. It has been unsafe to go outdoors since Labor Day. This situation was manageable for a few days. We did Cosmic Kids yoga. Spencer spent hours playing Monopoly with Marie. We watched some fun Disney movies, like The Sword in the Stone, and the live action versions of Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast.

But now, as the National Weather Service keeps prolonging our air quality emergency, it’s difficult to maintain a hopeful attitude. This morning, Paul started wheezing during a tantrum, and I worried that poor air quality inside our house might be impacting him.

In addition to the poisoned air we’re trying not to breathe, we’re all deeply saddened by the impact of the wildfires on those who have been evacuated or lost homes — which includes people all around the state. It seems as though everyone knows someone who had to evacuate their home, and my mom had conversations with multiple friends and relatives around the state who were under an evacuation preparation warning. The wildfire situation in our state is an unprecedented emergency, and coupled with the COVID pandemic it just feels like its too much to bear. The McKenzie Fire near Springfield isn’t expected to be contained until late October, so it’s possible that air quality may continue to be poor for some time.

Oh, and school was expected to start this week — ahem, “school,” because online school is not quite the same thing. But it’s been delayed another week. As I’ve been learning more about the expectations around online school, I’ve been feeling discouraged by the amount of things that families are required to keep track of. For example, Paul will have a 15-minute Zoom meeting with a small group three days a week. He will also have weekly home visits with a teacher. On another day, he will have a weekly phone check-in with his teacher. There are also two additional Zoom tutorials that parents are required to participate in. This is all in addition to any schoolwork that he is expected to do. And this is just for my kindergartener — last spring I spent hours with Marie every day trying to get her to complete assignments for her second grade class.

So, what can we do expect muddle through this mess, and try to hold our breath until this is over. Because in 2020, we all can’t breathe.

Fall has always been my favorite season, so I can’t help feeling a bit hopeful and optimistic at the moment. Sure, the pandemic is not going to be resolved soon, and both of my kids will be doing school entirely remotely for the time being. True, trick-or-treating won’t be happening this year. Yes, the Pac-12 canceled football (genuinely excited because it means I don’t have to watch football this year!).

These past 6 months have been really hard, and I know things will continue being hard for awhile. But I’m still looking forward to fall because:

  • My daughter will be starting consistent childcare. After a DIFFICULT spring at home (which led me to find a therapist), my daughter spent several weeks at daycamps this summer. Camp proved to be a lifesaver for our family — greatly improving my daughter’s attitude and my own. When I learned that our schools would be closed for fall, I decided that childcare for my daughter was a must. We are very fortunate to have the ability to pay for childcare, even if only for one of our children. I also feel fortunate to have found a childcare spot when there are not many options available in our community. Her childcare will include quiet time and support with online schoolwork, as well as enrichment activities including art and yoga. My heart goes out to all the other families who are struggling through this time, and I’m hoping and praying that they can find solutions that work for them.
  • My son will be starting kindergarten (remotely) at a Waldorf-inspired charter school. I’m super excited about this because they recognize that it is not developmentally appropriate for kindergarteners to learn online. (This should be obvious to anyone who has spent time around 5 and 6-year-olds, but apparently it is not). They are required to offer daily Zoom sessions, but we can opt out of those if he’s not interested, and most of their other work will be offline. Again, we’re very fortunate to have gotten picked out of the lottery for a spot at this school, and fortunate that I applied for this school last winter before we really knew what was coming down the pike. I’m also very fortunate that my mom is willing and able to support him with his remote learning so that I can continue working part-time.
  • We have a new puppy! Yes, and his name is Albus Dumbledore. In my mind, it feels like it was a spontaneous decision, but in reality, we’ve been talking about getting a dog for a few years. I was trying to work through my pros and cons list (cons: fleas, poop/pee clean up, cost, etc), and didn’t feel quite convinced, but Marie and Spencer were really advocating for a dog — so I figured we might as well go for it. He is a 10-week-old charcoal lab. He seems to be helping us all feel more positive in general, so I think it was a good decision. Therapy pup!
  • Fall colors and weather. I love fall when it is still sunny but not as hot as summer. And the colorful falling leaves are great. A good season for hiking.
  • Halloween. My kids get super excited about Halloween, and there are lots of activities that go along with it. Although I’m sure we won’t be trick-or-treating, we can still get costumes, carve pumpkins, put up decorations, and maybe have a little Halloween party with my parents.
  • A simpler schedule than my normal fall. One of the positives of this pandemic for me has been cutting back on some activities. It’s actually nice to have eliminated extracurriculars for the season. In pre-pandemic life, Marie played sports several times a week, and participated in Girl Scouts, and we also went to church weekly (and sometimes had extra church activities). This fall, our only planned extracurricular is a weekly soccer practice for each child.
Our new charcoal lab puppy, Albus Dumbledore the Second.

I’m working on trying to let go of those things I can’t control (most things), and just focus on what I can control (taking deep breaths). I also want to focus on having a more positive outlook. I will choose to be positive and focus on love and joy in this difficult season. But I will also continue to wear a mask and practice social distancing because I want to keep my family and my community safe.

P.S. What do you miss most about your life before the pandemic? Is there anything you thought you would miss and are surprised to find that you don’t?