I’m feeling writer’s block after the fifth day in a row of posting here. My daughter is napping and I know that at any minute she might wake up and then my chance to write will be over. So what to write about? I have a few topics that keep coming to mind but I don’t know if I feel like writing publicly about them at the moment…
During my time in Portland I felt like I was living in a Christian bubble. It’s odd that this could happen in Portland, Oregon, but somehow it did. I ended up going to graduate school at a Christian university, then teaching at a Christian elementary school, then working in the office at a Christian high school. Our social life mainly consisted of going to church events and hanging out with people we met from church. So poof, Christian bubble created.
Is it healthy to live in a Christian bubble, where everyone has the same religious beliefs as you? Well probably not, especially when the surrounding community is very non-religious. But I don’t know where else I would have really made friends, since it takes me awhile to get to know people. Still this is pretty much the opposite of my growing up years, when I hardly knew anyone who went to church. So maybe it was important for me to have this experience.
I think a lot of Christians probably end up in this situation because it is really just easier to be friends with people who are similar to yourself. Also you tend to hang out with the people who are around you. In college, I found myself hanging out mostly with other Christians because I wasn’t interested in drinking and partying, which is a lot of what college social life is about.
Well my little darling has awakened so I guess it’s time to push the publish button. What about you? Do most of your friends have the same religious beliefs as you? Do you wish you had a more diverse group of friends?
After 7 years of marriage and almost 10 years of being in a relationship with my husband, I think I can articulate our main source of conflict: Household chores. Basically I am a Type A, Carpe Diem, task-oriented person. I often view life as a to-do list and I like to accomplish as much as possible. My husband is more laid back and likes to put off tasks that he finds unpleasant.
I think it is great that God brought us together because we can help balance each other out. I mean, who really wants to hang out with someone who always thinks of life a to-do list? It could be kind of annoying…which is probably why I don’t have that many friends (Haha, well actually I am blessed to have some very wonderful friends in spite of my character flaws). He can help me relax and I can help him focus and get things done. But it often becomes a source of conflict because I get stressed out when tasks are not completed. For the last four or so years my husband has often worked on weekend mornings, and I typically use Saturday mornings to do a lot of chores. I like getting things done at the beginning of the weekend so that I have the rest of the weekend free to have fun.
When my husband does have a weekend off, he usually likes to relax on Saturday mornings. This is understandable since his job is very physically demanding and he works a lot of hours. But it conflicts with my preferred way of doing things, so I often end up arguing with him tasks that need to be accomplished. Clearly getting into an argument is unproductive for various reasons. So, I’ve decided that if it’s important to my happiness to clean on Saturday morning, then I will clean on Saturday morning. My husband can and should relax if that’s what he wants to do. He does contribute around the house and I know he will continue to do so…it just may not always be on the exact time schedule that I prefer. That is okay. After 7 years I’ve realized, I would rather let it go than waste time and energy arguing about it. So perhaps I am a slow learner.
This is part of living in community. You don’t always get things done exactly the way you’d like them to be. If I lived alone, my mess would be my own and I could clean it when I wanted. I wouldn’t be wakened in the night by my daughter and I wouldn’t have to share my space with my husband’s golf clubs, wine collection and pool cue. (And he wouldn’t have to share his space with my book collection). But I would be lonely. Living in community is messy and complicated but I strongly believe that God’s intention for us is to live in community. I’m blessed to have my husband and our little daughter to live with. And now we also have my grandmother and my parents living within 5 minutes of us. Four generations of family. It goes so against the “I can do it myself” American spirit of individualism. But it seems just right. So as little Marie would say, “Amen.”
photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/lizhenry/121508919/”>Liz Henry</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/”>cc</a>
I always want to participate in National Novel Writing Month, but it never seems like a good year. It’s never the right time to do anything that you’re not really motivated to do. This year is no different. As the mom of a toddler, I often find it difficult to put together a coherent sentence. I just don’t have the mental energy to write a draft of a novel, even a terrible one. But I still want to push myself to write, so I’ve decided to participate in NaBloPoMo, where I write a blog post a day. If you read many blogs, you know that it’s not necessary to write coherently in order to be a blogger. So I will fit in just fine.
Also this month marks my 30th birthday. So 30 blog posts for 30 days to mark my 30 years seems appropriate.
Today is the day after Halloween. For Halloween we dressed Marie up as Minnie Mouse and visited the haunted 5th Street Market. In Mexico, today is the Day of the Dead, where people remember their ancestors. On our walk today Marie and I visited the site along Amazon Creek where my grandfather’s ashes were scattered two years ago. He lived in Arkansas most of my life and I only got to visit him about once a year, but our family reunions in Eureka Springs are some of my favorite memories. I remember one year he took me fishing and I hooked his thumb without knowing and was reeling it in. He didn’t even cry out in pain, but just told me to stop and calmly pulled the hook out. He was a stoic and quiet family patriarch with five children and 9 grandchildren.